I had the pleasure of watching the game with a Duce Staley owner. By then end of the game, he was resigned and numb. Duce had 24 carries for 91 yards, almost four yards a carry. Bettis 0.2 yards per carry on five carries, just barely edging my per carry stat for the Steelers this week. And he had three touchdowns.

In the DFL, Stop Your Begging suffered at the hands of Cowher's coaching. At least he had Jamal Lewis as his other back. Jamal ran for five hundred yards in two games against the Browns last year. Last year. This week, even Duce Staley scored more fantasy points.

SYB posted the low non-JaJets-JaRule score this week, losing by nine to a team that scored only 45.

Public Enemy #2, Hairy Centipedes, is the owner of Bettis. Bettis scored more points than any other 'Pede, but he was, of course, on the bench.

Second Story: The Genius and Hairy Centipedes lose.

Okay, from a fantasy football perspective, I had to make Bettis the top story, but from a DFL perspective, I want to emphasize that Sandy and Curt lost. Cue Nelson Muntz: "Ha-ha!"

Time-traveling Fantasy Fantasy Matchup I'd like to see:

Sacking Spacemen vs JaJets JaRule. A fantasy defensive struggle of epic proportions, if only.

Defenses win Superbowls

Monday, 9/6, Hairy Centipedes: Two QBs?
Friday, 9/17, Thunderfleas: Three defenses?

Ass Spanking Of The Week:

Colin's Crushers: 109
JaJets JaRule: 32

Holy sh*t, what stomping! Er, crushing.

PS: That effing sucks for Charles Rogers. It makes me down to think about, but not as much as Robert Edwards destroying his knee on a Hawaiian beach at the Pro Bowl after his rookie season. But almost as much.

Lucky Son Of A - Of The Week:

Thunderfleas: 82
New Potatoes: 62

New Potatoes was the highest scoring of the losing teams this week. Thanks to great numbers by my first two "pre-fuck-up" draft choices, and a mysterious touchdown by my platooning tight end (the double scoring touchdown for me, nice!), I was able to win.

I am also lucky because Onterrio Smith won't have his drug suspension hearing until after 10/4. So, for a few weeks, I'll actually have two primary ball carriers in my starting lineup.

Ambulance Chaser Of The Week:

No real ambulance chasers this week. Of course, the significant fantasy injuries were to wide receivers, not running backs and quarterbacks. Still, it's comforting to think that Sandy's wife might have gotten a nice good morning kiss on Monday rather than opening her eyes to see Sandy's naked crack as he rushed off to the computer to grab the backup to some fallen star running back.